Happy Birthday Tall Skinny Man!

Today is the Tall Skinny Man’s birthday.  He’s turning 67  39 today.  I’ve been harassing him for a couple weeks now to pick his birthday meal because anybody who lives here gets to pick his favorite meal for his birthday dinner.  But that’s always a problem with that tally skinny man.  He has issues.  You see, he’ll eat practically anything that doesn’t eat him first.  He’s the anti-picky.  And he LOVES to eat!  Not that you can tell by looking at him.  ***rolling eyes***

So over the last couple weeks, I’ve begged and pleaded and whined and cried trying to get him to tell me what he wants me to cook for his birthday.  I always get this, “It doesn’t matter.  Don’t go to any trouble.”  You’d think the man would’ve learned after 18.5 years of marriage that his birthday IS going to come around again.  And I AM going to harass the mess out of him until he comes up with a meal.  And cooking is NOT trouble for me.  But NOOOOOOOOOO!  The big goober never gets it.

So when I was asking on Friday evening what everyone wanted to have for suppers this coming week and I asked what we should have for TSM’s birthday, my brother piped up and said, “Bacon cheeseburgers!”  Uh huh.  Right.  Bacon cheeseburgers.  And TSM says, “SURE!  That’ll work.”  ***sigh***  So it appears we’re having bacon cheeseburgers for the “big, fancy” birthday meal today. 

Not very big and not very fancy…………or not usually.  I can’t make a simple little bacon cheeseburger.  I decided if we were having bacon cheeseburgers for a birthday meal that is supposed to be special, these were going to be no ordinary bacon cheeseburgers!  And that’s just how it is!

Here’s TSM Birthday Bacon Cheeseburgers on steriods…………..not really, but sorta…….

Bacon Cheeseburgers Fit for a Tall Skinny Man’s Birthday

*  3 pounds ground sirloin

*  3 cloves garlic, minced

*  1/2 tsp. prepared horseradish

*  1/4 cup dijon mustard

*  1 Tbsp. Jane’s Crazy Salt

*  1/2 pound Gouda cheese, cut 1/4″ thick and into 1 1/2″ squares

Mix meat with everything except cheese.  Divide meat into 12 equal-sized balls.  Shape meat into patties.  Put slice of gouda cheese in the center of one patty and top with another.  Press edges together.  Grill to desired doneness.

The burgers will go on a bun with some Roasted Red Onion Mayonnaise, sauted mushrooms, thick sliced bacon, green leafy lettuce, slices of tomato and red onion.

The Roasted Red Onion Mayonnaise is SO easy!  Chop a red onion in large chunks.  Toss them with a little extra virgin olive oil and a good sprinkle of sea salt and fresh cracked pepper.  Roast in a pre-heated 425° oven about 30 minutes.  Allow to fully cool.  Put onions in a food processor and chop.  Add 1 cup of mayonnaise and whiz in food processor until well blended.  Refrigerate until ready to use.

We’re also having Chili Cheese Fries because TSM LOVES chili.  And LOVES fries.  And LOVES cheese.  So I decided to make chili cheese fries on steriods too!  These are no ordinary Chili Cheese Fries.  No chili out of a can.  No cheese sauce out of a packet or out of a jar.  No fries out of the freezer section.  This is the full monty, baby!  Angina attack fries here!  Let’s make some!  Shall we?

*  4 large baking potatoes

*  2 cups buttermilk

*  1 cup cornmeal

*  1/2 cup flour

*  Salt, Pepper, Garlic Powder, Paprika to taste

Scrub potatoes.  Mix cornmeal, flour and spices together in a shallow dish.  Pour buttermilk into another shallow dish.  Cut potatoes in half, then cut each half into 6 thick wedges.  Dip wedges in buttermilk.  Then roll in seasoned meal/flour mixture.  Deep fry until golden brown.  Drain on paper towels.  Keep in warm oven until ready to plate up.

Cheese Sauce:

*  1/2 cup butter, melted

*  1/2 flour

*  3 cups whole milk

*  2 cups sharp cheddar cheese, shredded

*  2 Tbsp. prepared mustard

Melt butter and stir in flour.  Cook until slightly browned.  Add milk and whisk until smooth.  Cook until beginning to thicken.  Add cheddar cheese and mustard.  Stir until smooth. 

Plate up fries then top with a hearty ladle full of chili.  Drizzle cheese sauce over all.  Top with diced onions if desired.  Call cardiologist for stress test.

And we’re having cake.  Of COURSE!  What kind of cake, you ask?  Aw, aren’t you sweet?!  Thanks for asking!  We are having Chocolate Covered Cherry Espresso Mocha Cheesecake Torte.  WHEW!  That was sure a mouthful wasn’t it!? 

The cake is 3 layers.  The top and bottom layers are Chocolate Covered Cherry Cake.  The middle layer is an Espresso Mocha New York-Style Cheesecake.  In between each layer is Nutella.  Do you all know Nutella?  It’s a chocolate hazelnut butter.  Insane stuff!  I fully intended to grind hazelnuts to go in the crust of the cheesecake.  But the problem with living in podunk is that you ask for such things as hazelnuts at the friendly, neighborhood Kroger and they look at you like you smoke crack.  NO such thing to be had here.  😦  So I tied in the hazelnut flavors elsewhere.  The frosting is chocolate hazelnut buttercream, made with real butter, cocoa, powdered sugar and Frangelico (hazelnut liqueur.) 

The cake will be topped with a scoop of coffee ice cream, a drizzle of a Frangelico and Kahlua cream sauce and fresh sweetened whipped cream.

Happy BIRTHDAY, Tall Skinny Man!  With all the love in my kitchen!

I’ll come back later today with pictures!  I have the table set up like a diner, complete with red plastic baskets for the chili cheese fries and soda fountain glasses to serve homemade strawberry milkshakes in!  See y’all later today!

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8 Responses

  1. Oh Amy!!! I can hardly wait to see the pictures! Everything sounds wonderful! Again, what fun, and what great memories you are creating!

    HAPPY BIRTHDAY, TALL, SKINNY MAN!

  2. Oh yes, I forgot to say, I know what Nutella is. I love it! I can just imagine how rich and yummy that cake will be!

  3. Happy Birthday, TSM! Enjoy that yummy dinner, especially that insane sounding cake! I can’t wait to see the pictures. 🙂

  4. Happy Birthday Tall Skinny Man!!!

  5. Happy Birthday, Shag Daddy!!! 😀

  6. Wow Amy, you really go to town when you cook. Happy Birthday Tall Skinny Man, I know that you day was just the best and your birthday dinner and cake looked super spectacular and delicious. I know that I need to take Eleanor~Rose and myself down there and taste your fantastic cooking Amy, this girl just loves to eat these days and she especially loves chili cheeseburgers and chili cheese fries, oh and she also loves prime rib to boot. LOL!

  7. Amy, I don’t think I’ve told you how great your blog is!!!!

    How DARE the TSM not be patient enough to have his birthday burger photographed properly….. 😉

    My John and the kids always laugh and say “Mom’s got the camera out again”…. or the just-as-famous words “It’s picture-worthy food”…… lol

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